THE FOOD DECONSTRUCTIONIST
We are all individuals, therefore we like things a certain way. When it comes to food it’s perfectly normal to be particular about what you like to eat. However, in a world now filled with foodies, gourmets, and mukbangers, I’ve noticed a new breed of eaters known as food deconstructionists. These are folks who can never have a dish the way it was intended to be made, prepped, or designed.
NOW LISTEN!
I’m quite aware that there are people in this world who have food allergies, factor religion into their diet, or maybe battling health issues, I get it. Yet, all you need to do is walk into a Chipotle, Starbucks or frankly dine in with anyone from New York CIty or Los Angeles to observe a food deconstructionist.
One of the first sightings of an FD was in the classic movie When Harry Met Sally, when Meg Ryan’s character went off on a tangent with her order to the waitress, while Billy Crystal's character simply says he’ll have the #3.
If you ever want to see a free one act play, walk into a Sweetgreen on the Upper West Side in NYC and watch locals completely deconstruct their salads while holding up a line of twenty people.
Now I live in Los Angeles and the FD is everywhere. You can go on Postmates and literally have an Italian restaurant separate all the cooked ingredients into small containers for a pasta dish. Additionally, you can write endless notes to piss off a chef on how they should prepare your meal.
Asking for a simple modification is fine, we all do it. Upending a dish or completely rearranging how something should be prepared is rude.
If you feel the need to nitpick everything you eat, then learn the simple task of cooking for yourself. If that’s too overwhelming, hire your own personal chef or blow all your money at places like Erewhon. Bottom line is, be mindful and limit your deconstruction!
Find me on the gram @mordyskosherpalace and @noshcity.
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