ARRIVALS AND DEPARTURES
I was born and raised in Miami but moved to NYC in 2007, so for the next ten years or so, I began frequently taking flights between the Tri-State area and South Florida.
As many of you know, South Florida is the sixth borough of New York and an unofficial capital for American Jews. So the flights are always a mixture of Birthright reunions, patrons of Barney Greengrass, and the cast of Fiddle On The Roof.
I still remember this one specific flight I took before a Passover a few years back, that I simply dub "The Kosher Express."
Of course it was on a JetBlue flight, I mean nice seats, free snacks, TV, and cheap wifi. Who can't beat that???
As I approach the gate that night, I could see the tribe everywhere. The stars were out!!!! Big gold ones!!!! Some folks were dripping David Yurman and Tiffany & Co, while others showed off the latest banging modestly wear to hit Eastern Parkway.
Sprinkle some reformed yuppies and jippies (Jewish Hippies) and you got a giant sized babka of a flight!
Now when they started pre-boarding and called families/small children, half of the passengers got in the line and you know they all had carry-ons!
Finally I board and when I get to my seat I notice that the arm rest was missing, so I alerted the flight crew. My only concern was that a child may walk down the isle and possibly touch a sharp object to the exposed area.
Then my fellow passenger/bagel gave me a suggestion.
Fellow passenger: Take a picture.
Me: What?
Fellow passenger: Take a picture, post it on Twitter, get credit.
Me: Okay.
Fellow passenger: I'm serious, take a picture and post it online.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!!! Fellow heeb fulfilling a common stereotype and telling me that I should be compensated by complaining and exploiting something for personal gain. Lovely!
Then midway through the flight, I discover that the headphone jack to my TV doesn't work. As I mention it to a flight attendant, the fellow passenger again starts pressuring me to do a Trump-like Twitter rant about my flight experience. As if my ticket should be fully refunded because I'm unable to watch Real Housewives at 30,000 feet.
Furthermore, this real mensch also proceeded to stock up on free JetBlue snacks as if he was about to go take a walk in the desert.
In the end, I was just happy that the plane went up in the air and landed safely. In no way did I feel a minor inconvenience should result in some immediate compensation.
However, the stereotype still stays. Many fellow heebs tend to think that within minutes of sitting down at a restaurant they should be greeted by wait staff with water, bread, and impeccable service, as if they are at Le Bernardin. When in reality, they are at TooJay's in Hallandale Beach, FL for the early bird special on a Tuesday night.
BOTTOM LINE: Just be kind to others and you'll receive an authentic form of compensation called gratitude.
I was born and raised in Miami but moved to NYC in 2007, so for the next ten years or so, I began frequently taking flights between the Tri-State area and South Florida.
As many of you know, South Florida is the sixth borough of New York and an unofficial capital for American Jews. So the flights are always a mixture of Birthright reunions, patrons of Barney Greengrass, and the cast of Fiddle On The Roof.
We went to Israel for two weeks and now all we want to do is smoke hookah, listen to Infected Mushroom and bathe in Ahava Dead Sea mineral salts!
I still remember this one specific flight I took before a Passover a few years back, that I simply dub "The Kosher Express."
Of course it was on a JetBlue flight, I mean nice seats, free snacks, TV, and cheap wifi. Who can't beat that???
As I approach the gate that night, I could see the tribe everywhere. The stars were out!!!! Big gold ones!!!! Some folks were dripping David Yurman and Tiffany & Co, while others showed off the latest banging modestly wear to hit Eastern Parkway.
Sprinkle some reformed yuppies and jippies (Jewish Hippies) and you got a giant sized babka of a flight!
In-flight entertainment!
Now when they started pre-boarding and called families/small children, half of the passengers got in the line and you know they all had carry-ons!
Finally I board and when I get to my seat I notice that the arm rest was missing, so I alerted the flight crew. My only concern was that a child may walk down the isle and possibly touch a sharp object to the exposed area.
Then my fellow passenger/bagel gave me a suggestion.
Fellow passenger: Take a picture.
Me: What?
Fellow passenger: Take a picture, post it on Twitter, get credit.
Me: Okay.
Fellow passenger: I'm serious, take a picture and post it online.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT!!! Fellow heeb fulfilling a common stereotype and telling me that I should be compensated by complaining and exploiting something for personal gain. Lovely!
Then midway through the flight, I discover that the headphone jack to my TV doesn't work. As I mention it to a flight attendant, the fellow passenger again starts pressuring me to do a Trump-like Twitter rant about my flight experience. As if my ticket should be fully refunded because I'm unable to watch Real Housewives at 30,000 feet.
Furthermore, this real mensch also proceeded to stock up on free JetBlue snacks as if he was about to go take a walk in the desert.
In the end, I was just happy that the plane went up in the air and landed safely. In no way did I feel a minor inconvenience should result in some immediate compensation.
However, the stereotype still stays. Many fellow heebs tend to think that within minutes of sitting down at a restaurant they should be greeted by wait staff with water, bread, and impeccable service, as if they are at Le Bernardin. When in reality, they are at TooJay's in Hallandale Beach, FL for the early bird special on a Tuesday night.
BOTTOM LINE: Just be kind to others and you'll receive an authentic form of compensation called gratitude.
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